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26.7.10

The Laws of the Goat

1: Butt out of my business. If I want your 'help', I'll ask.

2: Don't try to guilt-trip me. If I choose to help you, I will.

3: Stay out of my territory until you learn some basic respect.

4: Don't invite me into your territory unless you want me to be there.

5: I mate with whom I choose. Don't try to stop me, and don't try to force me.

6: Keep your paws off my stuff, unless I obviously neither need nor want it.

7: Don't pretend that you're someone you aren't or can do something you can't.

8: If you have a problem, stop whining and fix it. Don't waste my time.

9: If you hurt my child, or any child I know, even your own, I will kill you.

10: Don't dick around with the food or the ecosystem I depend on for survival.

11: When we're in public, and I tell you to back off, back the fuck off or I will destroy you.

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